As I left Bukhara to drive to the Turkmen border I crossed through the Uzbek side with no problems and then was held up for about 2 hours on the Turkmen side for no apparent reason. I met my guide at the border, a small Asian looking Turkmen, Jennet, who spoke very good English. She asked for my passport and got me registered speaking in Turkmen to the border guy, then I had to pay $12 for an entry tax or something stupid.

So she took my entry permit and $12 to try to fight through the insane mob of Uzbeks trying to cross. As I’ve mentioned before, these people do not know the meaning of the word line. Needless to say, she was not doing well and wasn’t being taken. It was driving me nuts watching people push her around. So after literally 45 minutes of this crap. I asked her for the money and registration card and literally, in a tremendously brilliant move, lowered my shoulder into about 10 people and moved them all and stood at the window and got my receipt so I could get my passport back. Everyone, the guide, the people and the window attendant looked at me in astonishment. Afterwards, I was glad I didn’t get arrested or something but the insanity had to stop somewhere. After I was taken, the crazy people continued on with their chaos. I was just glad to be out of there and into my three hour drive to Ancient Merv.

The journey through the Karakum Desert was beautiful but it was three hours of watching the same thing over and over as the scenery never changed-sand and bushes over and over. However we finally did arrive at Merv, which was one of the most important Silk Road cities before the Mongols destroyed it. I toured around the UNESCO World Heritage site with Jennet. I’m not going to sugar coat it-it was OK. I am glad I saw it but wouldn’t feel the need to go back, the ruins were very very old and there wasn’t too much left.

After finally arriving in Ashgabat, the white marble capital of Turkmenistan, I was relieved to just chill out and relax after a long day of travel. I was going to go out and get dinner but Jennet said that I am not allowed around the city without a registered guide. So this obviously displeased me and I was annoyed. So I picked out an Italian place that Lonely Planet recommended and went there because I couldn’t possibly eat anymore lamb or doner kebabs. She came with me but wouldn’t sit with me at the table and waited outside. It was weird because she said she couldn’t spotted with me by any Turkmens because it would look like we were on a date and the people would gossip and her family would be embarrassed. I was like, OK…

She then explained to me how Turkmen arranged marriages work and how they aren’t allowed to date, their familes arrange the marriages and then they can find out if they like each other. Sounds like fun huh?

Anyway she also mentioned that if a girl is over 25 and not married there is something wrong. So obviously I asked her how old she was and she said 26 (although she literally looked 50). Then the conversation ended because I didn’t want her to get all sad or weird about her personal life so I just went and ate.

I don’t want to ramble too much but Ashgabat is a beautiful, I mean gorgeous, city where all the buildings are white marble. The government is majorly communist and controls and censors everything. They are offically neutral as declared by the United Nations in 1995 but in truth they are an isolationist country with very few allies. It was excessively frustrating feeling trapped and cut off from the world, sometimes that’s fine but not when you don’t want to be.

Again, I am in Mashad, Iran right now and it is ungodly hot as you might imagine. I am flying to Tehran tonight with my Iranian guide Sia who seems very nice and he speaks great English so I am pleased. Until tomorrow…

We then walked around and he showed me all around the old city. The old buildings are very impressive and even better kept perhaps than Samarkand. My favorite spot in town was by far the Kalon Minaret and the surrounding Medressas and Mosque. I was able to climb to the top with a little bribing of $3 to the local man tending the ticket table and I mean tending by sleeping at the table, but at 46 meters high you could see the whole city. It was beautiful and a true sight to behold. It was completed in 1127AD and it was so dumbfounding to Jenghiz Khan when he conquered the city that he ordered it not to be destroyed-that’s pretty high praise.

The rest of the old city is a lot of fun to walk around and kind of get lost in. There are pools in the concrete throughout the old city that the local kids go swimming in. They have been around for centuries and were once the cause of the most plague outbreaks in Asia because they didn’t realize they should change the water from time to time-they were never accused of being great thinkers. However, when the Bolsheviks took control here, they figured it out. The water however, is brown and not exactly appetizing so you won’t see me hopping in there even though it is 125 degrees today.

So as a result of this country being mainly Muslim and there being absolutely nothing to do at night I am heading a local folklore and dance show that they do for the tourists that should be highly hokey but who knows-sometimes these things are actually OK, and they throw in a nice dinner as well or so they say…I will find out.

I did see a Japoanese tour bus or two today so maybe they will bring some of them up on stage and make them do funny things for my entertainment. That would certainly be fun-or perhaps they will ask them to take their facemasks off their mouths and noses. I’m not sure if they think they are Michael Jackson or what but the air is pretty good here-much better than Tokyo I can assure you of that.

Tomorrow morning I leave Bukhara very early to head into Turkmenistan for the next two nights. It should be even hotter there but I’ve heard there is a little more to do once the sun goes down. I have already finished all my books that I brought to read and if I have to watch CNN International anymore on satellite TV, I may throw up-but it is still better than local Uzbek TV-trust me!

First, I toured around the old city of Penjikent which is little more than ruins from the 5th century that have not been preserved and certainly never restored. You can barely make out the shapes of houses but apparently it was once one of the most cosmopolitan cities along the old silk road. My guide made it interesting but all I kept thinking about was heading into the mountains and checking out the alpine lakes of Marguzor. So that’s what I did and that made today one of the best days of my trip.

The incomparable Tajik guru, Nematov Niyozkul, arranged my Toyota Rav 4 with my driver and his buddy who was tagging along but it was cool because he spoke some English. We headed up into the Fan Mountains to a string of seven lakes, each more beautiful and higher than the last. Each was also a different color blue as you got higher the water was more pure and looked like something you’d see in Switzerland or New Zealand. The scenery couldn’t be beat.

The rough mountain roads were shaking the bowels out of you but the incredible panoramic views were breathtaking and made you forget the bumps. As we ascended higher and higher we arrived at the sixth lake at about 12,000 feet. I wasn’t prepared for this type of altitude and as it got a little cloudy it started to get really cold.

I was wearing a bathing suit and tee shirt and it didn’t quite make for what I should’ve been wearing. However, I was determined to hike the last 2km to the seventh lake called Azor Chashma. You have to hike because there is no more dirt road, you have arrived where the Tajik “mountain people”-for lack of a better term-live. We parked and they all came and offered us food. We were starving and gladly accepted their sweet melon and awesome bread that they made right on the fire on the floor.

I couldn’t understand anything they were saying but they were very kind and infatuated by my clothes. I am used to that kind of reaction from remote village people and my drivers friend said I was the first American they had ever seen. I thought that was funny and thanked him for the wonderful fruit and bread and a truly authentic experience.

Then it started to rain, fairly heavily. I was still going to hike but the driver said that if we didn’t go now and it kept raining that we could get stuck here for 3 or 4 days if the road floods. That wasn’t an option so I agreed and we started back. The view on the way back was even better than coming because we were descending from an elevated position. I really got some amazing pictures. The glass lakes were spellbinding in their majesty-I know that sounds lame but it’s true-that’s how beautiful they were.

After arriving back in Penjikent, my Tajikistan guru Niyozkul brought me back to the Uzbek border to meet my driver, Andrei, to head back to Samarkand where I am right now. I am looking forward to a good nights sleep and then the drive to Bukhara tomorrow, but what a great day and I can’t tell you how great my Tajik experience was: it was somewhere in the world and I couldn’t get enough.

These final lines of James Elroy Flecker’s poem, “The Golden Journey to Samarkand” evoke the romance of Uzbekistan’s most glorious city. No name is so evocative of the Silk Road as Samarkand. For most people it has the mythical resonance of Atlantis, fixed in the Western popular imagination by playwrights and poets of bygone eras, few of whom saw the city in the flesh. When Alexander the Great took the city in 329 BC, he said “Everything I heard about Samarkand is true, except that it’s more beautiful than I ever imagined.”

I agree with Alexander up to a point but perhaps in his day when this city was at the peak of its existence-it was the most beautiful city in the world. Today it is a bustling city that stands at the crossroads of Persia, Asia and Russia and Samarkand much like most old great cities has a lot to be proud of but it is just getting old. However, it still manages to maintain its beauty and charm but knowing the history behind the city and buildings is so important in being able to really appreciate sights like Samarkand.

I won’t bore you with long descriptions of the history of many of the Medressas and Mosques but the must see of Samarkand is the Registan. Still in great shape and for sure the center of Uzbek culture. It’s grand edifices shine in the searing heat and produce photographic magic while still causing you to realize where you are and how lucky you are to be able to see this grand spectacle.

Other top sights in Samarkand are the Guri Amir, Bibi-Khanym Mosque and Shah-i-Zinda and each are worth a visit. The rest of Samarkand radiates from the heat and there seem to be so many different directions the city is going in. It is not sure whether it wants to be try to be modern or stay true to its Silk Road lore. It’s kind of a microcosm of modern day Uzbekistan: where do we go from here. With the most history in Central Asia and the top tourist sights, which way will they go?

Will it continue to be a police state where they stop you for checkpoints every ten minutes as they did to us today on the way from Tashkent, the capital of Uzbekistan. Or will it become more tolerable of outsiders and allow for easier entry and for better tourist facilities and infrastructure, especially the main roads and highways. We shall see.

After the hike I just headed back to Bishkek and walked around the easily manageable streets and checked out all the local attractions. They were few and far between with a couple of cool government buildings and a philharmonic that was quite nice but the people watching is what made Bishkek memorable for me. The women are very attractive and they seem to wear clothes that look like they were painted on them. They are so ungodly tight, it looks like one of those swimsuit shoots where they paint the models-thats how tight the clothes were.

The people, both men and women were a curious mix of Russian and Chinese, as would make sense with the location of the country but still unusual to see and to hear the Asian looking people speaking Russian.

My final account of my time in Kyrgyzstan was that it is very pleasant and a nice place to see. Like a lot of Central Asia, the highlights are in the scenery and in the mountains. The surrounding mountains around Bishkek make for a memorable backdrop and I would certainly recommend checking it out as part of a bigger trip in the region-not as a prime destination.

After eating, the sun was up and I was able to view a gorgeous modern city with an awesome backdrop of mountains similar to Denver, Colorado in the United States. As I met my driver to take me to Bishkek, Kyrgyzstan, the scenery in the Kazakh countryside got even better.

The drive from Almaty to Bishkek is about 3 hours give or take and the mounatins and wide open spaces are amazing. I don’t use that word often to describe anything but it really was. The landscapes are something that I have seen only in Africa. There are just massive expanses of gorgeous open land with a 360 degree view that transfixes you into a gaping stare. The Zailiysky Alatau Mountains shimmer in the morning sun and light up the fields and valleys below. It was really a pleasant ride…that was of course with one notable exception.

About midway through the drive I was staring out the window and my massive and cold Kazakh driver named Sergei was busy plotting how to kill people, when a woman in a dark blue Mercedes flipped her car. She was probably doing about 120kph which is about 75mph and the road was one of those roads with a steep dropoff if you go off the road and thats what she did. It was literally right in front of us in the right hand lane.

We both kind of stared and collectively in our respective languages screamed, “HOLY SHIT!” It was insane but we were going about the same speed and Sergei didn’t even think to stop but continued to drive the same speed while staring back at the accident which really thrilled me, I’ll tell you. Afterwards he motions a drinking motion to his mouth and says vodka, obviously insinuating the she was drunk on vodka and then he laughed…I guess I just don’t get Russian humor.

So basically, the woman must’ve died because of the speed she was going and the crash was spectacular and I don’t mean that in a good way but the car flipped like 6 or 7 times. But I have no idea what happened and I seriously hope she is OK. It was just insane to see one of those up close-it was like a NASCAR crash. Anyway, I’m going to go on the assumption that she is OK so I feel better about Sergei not stopping the car-but I really doubt it.

Changing gears…As we arrived at the Kyrgyz border stop I had to get out for passport and visa formalities and I decided to snap a picture of the Welcome to Kazakhstan sign-just because. Anyway a guard saw me do it and demanded my camera. I wouldn’t give it to him and just kept saying Nyet! (My Russian is stellar let me tell you knowing a few words-although I can read it which is a big help).

It soon became apparent that he was going to look at my camera whether I wanted him to or not so as the other armed guards came in I allowed him to look while I held it. I was forced to erase the pictures I took of the sign. I mean really-is it such a massive Kazakh secret that the sign says Welcome to kazakhstan in Russian-what’s the harm in taking a picture of it. So I took my stamp, said thank you in Russian and as I was leaving snapped another picture of it that they didn’t see. It was a small victory but a win nonetheless!

I am now in Bishkek and will write about this lovely city tomorrow as I am heading out to go hiking in the mountains.

BTW-my blackberry gets no service here in Kyrgyzstan so I don’t have instant access to calls, emails, facebooks, my site, etc. I will try to check again tonight before going to sleep but hopefully it will work tomorrow from Uzbekistan.

ALSO, I just wanted to mention that yesterday my blog was viewed in over 50 countries and has been viewed by people in more than 176 countries in the past few months…not too bad for a little travel blog that doesn’t advertise. Thanks to everyone for reading and your emails-they mean a lot and help make doing this fun and worthwhile.

The wall is truly mindblowing for several reasons. First, it is huge and runs for about 4000 or so miles up into the Gobi Desert. It is also baffling to think how it was built in that setting, similar to Machu Picchu and how did they get all those stones all the way up there. Furthermore, the views are spectacular and looking at the wall snaking in and out of the mountains is really awe-inspiring and hypnotic.

Mutianyu, renowned for its Ming Dynasty guard towers, was a fabulous place to be introduced to the wall especially at the time of day I arrived. I avoided the main tour busses full of tourists and older people and missed the heat of the day. Don’t get me wrong it was still oppressively hot out but when I left by 10:30am it still wasn’t nearly as bad as it would get.

I was also shocked to find out just how steep and difficult some parts of the wall were to climb. The amount of steps is brutal and can really make your legs feel like jello. Anyone can do it I suppose but just be prepared as I wasn’t, for such a challenging hike. Additionally, I suggest bringing suntan lotion and a second shirt to change into if you go in the summer because you sweat-a lot!

After having an amazing experience at Mutianyu, I decided it was still early enough that I wanted to see what I was missing at Badaling so I asked the taxi driver to bring me there and it was as people had described it. There was a carnival type atmosphere with amusement park rides, a safari park and shops as far as the eye could see. But of sourse the worst was the long lines and overcrowded wall because I would estimate 20,000 tourists. I am so glad I did it the way I did it. I am also glad I saw Badaling which does have impressive views but for my money Mutianyu is the way to go. You get a partially rebuilt part of the wall with a little wild wall mixed in and you can just see forever in the gorgeous green mountains of the Chinese countryside.

The wall itself is amazing and as former President Richard Nixon eloquently and poetically said to Mao Zedong on his historic visit to China decades ago, “It really is a great wall”. Tricky Dick knew what he was talking about on that front-maybe not anything else but the man knew a good wall when he saw one!

I am taking the miserable Air Astana red eye tonight to Almaty, Kazakhstan. Yes, that country that Borat was from. It is a real place as some people have shockingly asked me. Stay tuned.

I swear to god you have never heard someone spew out more facts faster than she did with the Forbidden City and although I could barely understand her, I did pick up all the essentials and was even more in awe of the place than I was before. It was also nice today because of the stifling heat-many people were sitting down in the shade so it was easier to get up close to the pagodas and the buildings and see inside. It was like being in the movie “The Last Emperor”, which was an awesome movie that won best picture in 1987.

I am also a big fan of Chinese history, especially the Ming Dynasty and getting the background info from Lucy and seeing it in person was really cool. I highly recommend the Forbidden City or Palace Museum as it is the quintessential sight in Beijing.

As I mentioned it was ridiculously hot out today and being in Tiananman Square was a total nightmare because there is nowhere to hide from the sun. And the sun and heat mixed with the ungodly pollution problem made for difficulty breathing and the strong possibility of becoming dehydrated. It is certainly my prediction that not too many world records will be set in the upcoming Olympics here in Beijing with this hot and heavy air.

Speaking of the Olympics, aside from the pollution issue which is as bad as they say and maybe even worse; I have to give the Chinese credit because the city looks great. They have new signs up everywhere and even with English translations which is key-believe me. They have flowers and signs up all over the city and people just walking around handing out Olympic gear, etc. It is really nice to see them trying to embrace this opportunity to showcase their great city to the world-I hope it all goes well. The stadium by the way, looks like a giant birds nest-it’s pretty cool, at least from the outside.

Tiananman Square is nothing like I thought it would be like. I was picturing Red Square in Moscow which is awesome, The Chinese equivalent was very disappointing. Although it is the largest square on Earth-it is truly massive but with nothing really to see or do except if you want to Chairman Mao’s presered body which is creepy to me. Additionally, I kept having flashbacks to 1989 when all the tanks roared into the square to squash the student protest. I remember being in 5th grade watching that like it was yesterday and today I finally got to see that place in person and it just wasn’t what I pictured but still cool nonetheless.

I then went to the Temple of Heaven which is basically what it sounds like, a tranquil, beautiful pagoda complex where they have light Chinese music playing and it was very pleasant…however, the heat and poor air quality made it tough to stay there for too long-well that and the lack of water vendors!

So then I go into one of those Beijing 2008 official stores to buy some tee shirts and I do and they just hand me the shirts. I asked if I could have a bag to carry them and they said no I had to pay for a bag. I was shocked and asked why and how much. It was hardly any money but the principle here was what was important and I was demanding an explanation and finally I got one.

Apparently, for each bag purchase from the Olympics, the Chinese are donating the 1 Yuan to help save the environment. Ironic I thought because the second I walk out the door I can barely breathe; I’ve seen a ton of factories just spewing out noxious gasses into the air; there are 4 million cars burning diesel all over the streets of Beijing; and you’re charging me money for a bag to help save the environment. Needless to say she didn’t really understand what I was saying as nobody here really speaks English as you’d imagine so I stopped my fruitless banter and just left befuddled at the satire.

Back at the hotel now planning my tour to the Great Wall in the morning. I am really looking forward to that although the tours are way overpriced. I guess with the Olympics coming they are ratcheting everything up to stick it to the tourists. Anyway should be fun and hopefully it doesn’t rain.

The first glimpse which is a big thing for me in judging the shock value of a cool place was OK. It wasn’t like I was floored like at the Taj Mahal or the Pyramids or Petra. There was a moment where I was taken aback and as I stood there gazing out over the massive museum of pit one (there are three pits and one is easily the largest, measuring three football fields by one football field and having 6000 soldiers and horses inside it).

But that moment quickly passed as the ridiculous amount of Chinese tourists and tour groups were pushing and shoving and taking pictures of nothing because they couldn’t see anything over anybody. It was excessively annoying and did contribute to a negative feeling about the site. I have also now decided that Chinese tour groups are now my most hated; having replaced Germans and Japanese groups respectively for their incredible rudeness, complete lack of consideration and brutally annoying habits.

The major problem with pit one is that the place is massive as I mentioned but the track, if you will, that goes around the pit for people to walk around is narrow and elevated. So you really can’t see the warriors too closely. The only places where you can sort of get a good glimpse up close are beyond belief packed with tour groups, etc. that it is impossible to get through for a glimpse let alone a good picture and just not worth trying. Pits two and three are much easier to get close to and are both pretty cool but with far fewer warriors than pit one.

The other thing that annoyed me about the site was its set up. When you are dropped off at the site, you have a good 15-20 minute walked through a forest basically to get to the site and you really loop around and don’t take a direct approach. You don’t realize why initially but when you leave the site they send you in a complete opposite direction back towards the parking lot. The problem is they send you through a gauntlet of souvenir vendors and shops selling miniature to life size warriors-really…who is going to buy a stone life size warrior, what the hell do you possibly do with that and who would want it in their house! Basically, it’s just a city set up to hassel you with requests to look at this shop and that one and the worst part is they grab you-I was pretty happy to be out of there.

After spending most of the first half of the day getting to and from the site of the Terra Cotta Warriors, which is about 70km from Xian, I did a tour of Xian itself. I have to say that aside from the traffic and massive pollution issues, the city was surprisingly very pleasant and has a lot to see and do. The city is one of the few if not the only with an old walled city that’s still in tact. It also has very cool Qin Dynasty architecture and some really good restaurants with English menus-which is so helpful so you don’t get stuck with something bad as I mentioned in yesterdays post.

I will be spending the night here in Xian and I am going to listen to Lonely Planet’s recommendation of a restaurant for dinner tonight in the old Muslim Quarter. They are usually hit or miss but I just keep listening because when I asked at the hotel concierge if they could recommend a place to eat-they of course said the restaurant in the hotel-I really hate when they do that. Ayayay…anyway-I can’t wait to get to Beijing tomorrow!

BTW a few quick sports notes-Josh Hamilton was sick last night; 28 homers in the first round is pretty unbelievable and Brett Favre is the most annoying athlete of all time. Either retire or don’t but stop changing your mind-it’s infuriating and I am so sick of hearing about him-just like the Packers must be.

The semi-ironic thing for me today was that the Chinese Government announced just today that they were outlawing dog from the menu of all restaurants in Beijing for the Olympics. They did say however, that cat and bunny rabbit could still be on the menu and that people would basically have to deal with it. So Fido is off but Whiskers is on the menu–sounds delicious huh!?

Secondly, people here are insane when it comes to queueing up and entering and exiting subways. They simply do not get it. If you’ve traveled in the developing world you know that there is no concept of a line and personal space is completely not an issue because there is none. But here people are more up your ass than I have ever seen before and if you look away for one second they sneak right in front of you-those little bastards-as happened to me today while I was getting a water-a group of like 10 Chinese jumped in front of me and pushed me out of the way-I was annoyed but let it slide. But I would get my revenge on the subway later.

For normal people, when the subway arrives at a station and the people who are getting off the train get off and the people getting on wait and then enter-makes sense right-not here. I have never seen anything like it, there are no manners and it’s a gigantic free for all and really kind of funny but these little old Chinese ladies are butting and elbowing their way onto and off the train and these kids are burrowing their heads through crowds and finally I was just elbowed and pushed once too many times. I said to myself, I am much bigger than any of these people and I started fighting back knocking some Chinese around. It was actually kind of fun and they always backed off. I felt like a grade school kid trying to get a seat on the bus but it was pretty funny and shocking how impatient and disorganized they are with these types of basic things.

Changing gears for a second, I went into a DQ (Dairy Queen) which I was delighted that they have here because I have a slight obsession with ice cream and it was super hot today so I ordered my blizzard and sat down to eat it in the air conditioning. So not 30 seconds later, some random guy says excuse me and shows me a picture he just drew of me and wanted me to buy it. I was taken a little off guard and while it was pretty impressive and looked pretty good, I wasn’t buying his picture as I didn’t bring out a bag and just had no interest in carrying it or it in general. Anyway, he wouldn’t stop hounding me and I usually have a lot of patience with this type of thing but all I wanted to do was just enjoy my ice cream in the AC and be left alone. So I offered him 10 Yuan which is like $1.50 and he wanted to 30 Yuan and I never offer money like that but he did draw a nice picture. I said no just take it and leave me alone, I don’t want the picture. Then he just kept bugging me and bugging me and finally I lost patience and snapped at him and he finally left-I felt kind of bad but enough is enough-it’s not like I asked him to draw me.

Next, I swear that Yao Ming must be the most recognizable man on Earth. There are Yao posters, billboards, banners everywhere. I saw thousands, literally, of Chinese kids wearing his Rockets jersey. It got me thinking if every single person in China knows him and probably at least a third to half of the rest of the world at least would know him if they saw him even if they don’t follow sports-he may be the most recognizable person on Earth or he’s certainly in the discussion. Think about it, a quarter of the world knows him off the bat simply because he’s Chinese-not to mention the guy is 7′ 7″ and there aren’t too many Chinese that tall.

My final funny note from today is that the Hello Kitty stores in China are called the Kitty House and they have gigantic stuffed Hello Kitty dolls in the windows. I don’t know why I find that and Hello Kitty so funny but I do and they are everywhere-go figure.

As I am finally back in my room getting the black film off my body from the pollution-I had a really good time today and Shanghai has a lot to offer. The Shanghai Museum, the French Concession and just walking around are great ways to get to know the city and its history and I look forward to coming back sometime to see and learn more. Finally, I also went up to the top of the Jin Mao building which is currently the fourth highest on earth although that won’t last long. The cool thing about it was that you got a really nice panoramic view of the city and certainly it gives you a birds eye view of all the pollution looming over the city. It’s sad but hopefully one day they’ll get it right. I guess they are focusing on getting Beijing ready for the Olympics and I am looking forward to seeing that city in a few days. But for now-I am starving and going for noodles-not cat or dog or any other mystery meat…It’s off to Xian tomorrow to see the Terra Cotta Warriors.