Christmas Shopping

If you’re like me then you probably hate shopping. I often shop online. And I even know the best sites like the ones on to do so, as they’re completely secure and have the best items to choose from. Christmas shopping is even worse because of all the crowds and the fact that you have some sort of deadline to adhere to. If you live in the suburbs then you no doubt have to go to the mall and deal with parking, having no idea what you want to buy and figuring out where all the stores you want to look in are located. If you’re like me and live in a big city then you have to walk over to where the main shopping area in your city is and then deal with tons of tourists, freezing cold and again having absolutely no idea where to start. Although I love Christmas, any way you slice it, shopping sucks and here are a few reasons that I hate it.

1. Crowds
I don’t understand how people enjoy shopping at Christmas time because of the crowds first and foremost. There are simply too many people and everybody is so fussy and rude. Where I live in the Greenwich Village/Soho area of New York City there are a ton of tourists and tourists equal roadblocks and getting bumped into constantly. As I get older, I hate crowds more and more. I mean I couldn’t even fathom going to a festival like Mardi Gras or even Oktoberfest at this point simply because of the amount of people.

2. Too Many Options
There are too many options on places to shop. How am I supposed to know which place to go? Let’s say you want to get someone some clothes, there are 19,000 stores that essentially sell the same stuff. Some are more expensive and some are cheaper but then you don’t want to appear cheap or get the generic wrong thing. Then there is the size issue. Have you ever tried getting clothes for a girl before?! What size do you get them? You don’t want to get a medium or large and insult them but you have no idea what size women are and you never want to ask them. So you end up doing something stupid from a TV sitcom and ask some random woman that works there who is approximately the same size and you ask her to hold it up on her. That’s always awkward! If you still don’t know where to buy your clothes, then consider checking out this site the sells custom kids shirts.

3. It’s Cold
I know from analytics that 80% of the people reading this are from the Northern hemisphere and the vast majority of those people are living in cold weather as we speak. The northeast of the United States is freezing…then again the whole northern half of the US is freezing. As my friend Morroni just told me, it’s snowing again in London as well and even the Premiership games were cancelled this past weekend. That said, if you live in the major cold weather cities then you have to walk around constantly in the cold. Granted you can take the subway or metro around to different shopping areas but you’re still outside a majority of the time heading into different stores. Then when you get into each store you unbundle only to realize the store doesn’t have what you want and then you rebundle and start over again. It’s a long vicious cycle!

4. Retail Store Workers
The thing I may hate the most is every single time you walk into a retail store in general but especially at Christmas time, you get greeted by some worker. But it’s always a huge HI! Then the follow up questions about what are you looking for? It’s weird because I know it’s coming but every time I freeze up and just say I don’t know, when I always do know but I just can’t be bothered with them following me around. So then I go around aimlessly not being able to find the thing I may want and getting annoyed because I don’t want to ask for help. That’s because the workers fight over you to earn their commission. I certainly understand it but it is surely annoying. When I was in high school I worked a Christmas season at a department store in the mall in my hometown…I lasted 2 weeks, it sucked!

I am sure there’s other things but I have to head back out into the cold because for the two hours I was just walking around Soho, I got absolutely nothing! The only thing I know what I have to get is at Bed, Bath and Beyond which is a fancy coffee maker for my sister. The store I hate more than life is just that place, Bed, Bath and Beyond and I will be putting it off until the last possible second.

You’re probably thinking to yourself, why doesn’t this guy just order online and make his life easier. The reason is because I am old fashioned and I have been tortured, as many men are with Christmas shopping for their whole lives. However, it is the only time all year that I do it so it’s a tradition I don’t want to break. Or maybe I am just a glutton for punishment. Who knows?!

Merry Christmas! Happy Chanukkah! Happy Kwanza and any other holiday I don’t know about!

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  1. shopping online is the way to go, although it takes even freaking longer because there are way too many options then you feel the need to compare prices everywhere. But it keeps you out of the cold, especially in london where I think the crowds are even worse than nyc.

    although one thing I do miss from the suburbs is the sport known as competiing for a good parking spot, its the one part of Christmas shopping I looked forward to. -morroni

  2. I call it parking spot rage…I hated going to the mall at Xmas time!

  3. Awesome post! I hate shopping anytime but especially at Christmas. I am in Europe for Christmas this year so I did everything online. Mike is right, even that is miserable and takes forever.

  4. Lollllllll!

  5. Yes NY in the winter sucks to be shopping I agree…I live Uptown and need to shop at some point this week.

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